What's your excuse?

People who talk too much

Now, first of all, I'm known for talking to everyone, to strangers in line, in restaurants, and I know it can annoy people. But I do think I know when enough is enough.
Not this 40+ Polish lady in my street. I hadn't seen here in months. If I saw from far away, I would plan my escape route. A couple of months Fishering and I talked to her (read: she talked to us) while walking my dog (she has a dog too), and she didn't let us go. It was midnight, she had been drinking, and every time we said we would have to go, she said: "one more story". Her stories were funny though, but she doesn't know when to stop.
Anyway, this morning there was no way I could avoid her, and I made the mistake of asking how she was instead of just saying hi and walking on. First she started describing how she hit another car this morning when she drove her kid to school. After that story she said: Oh, and from the last time I saw you, my husband left me. On the 4th of July. So from now on the 4th of July is MY Independence Day!". I asked her if I should say sorry or congratulations. She said she was happy to be rid of the bastard. Of course he wants her back, but she doesn't want him back. In the middle of the alimony story, I had to bail out, because I had to go to school, and again, she doesn't know how and when to stop talking. She is funny though! She always hated her cats she she kicked them out with her husband!
Oh, the neighborhood I live in! Believe me, the things that happen in Beverly Hills 90210... CRAZY!

New Music...well, for me at least

This weekend, I became familiar with Madeleine Peyroux. And of course thanks to Fishering, I can now listen to her and download her songs here . She's also on ITunes. She sounds like Billy Holiday and her music really sounds like it's from the 50s. Very cool!

By the way, Fishering is taking his vacation days, so that's why he has time to find all this crazy stuff:)

A new fragrance...Cummings

Thanks to my guy Fishering, I laugh all day long at work, because he finds the funniest shit!
Check it out! 
Thanks Fishering:)!

Follow up on the scanner sold on Craigslist

I did get an e-mail back from the girl I knowingly allegedly sold a broken scanner to (and then she send me a nasty e-mail). She said she just didn't have fate in people in LA, because she's from Florida... ???? Anyway, she didn't want to give her address to a stranger.
Fishering told me to let it go, but I couldn't. So I made a donation of $10 to SaveDarfur , so I got rid of "her" $10, and it will be used to create the soooo needed awareness of what's going on in Darfur, Sudan.
End of this ordeal!

Some many funny things out there

This gossip on msn entertainment about Mr. Britney Spears:

"No word from Kevin on why he supposedly skipped the celebration, but it's probably not because he's averse to spending time with his relations. According to People, he and his winning lottery ticket, er, wife, enjoyed a "family get-together" at a resort in San Diego the weekend before last."

Very, very, very wrong, but very funny!

Only my man Fishering is able to find these things and send them out to all his friends. If you're at work, make sure you put headphones on before you play it, because it's very inappropiate, and some people might not think it's funny...
Enjoy:  South Park Joke 

If you can't open it, go here...

Coldplay Tickets

Coldplay is sold out for Irvine at the end of August, but my friend Mercury and I, wanna go so bad, so let me know if you know of a way to still get tickets or if you or someone you know has some extra tickets.
Thanks!

The World we live in...

After reading my friends post today, I brought back to the realization that our world is going towards complete deconstruction. Believe me, I'm an optimist, and I don't let my life be changed by terrorist attacks, but his post made me think. This is the comment I left to his post:

I grew up in The Netherlands, and always felt safe. No I live in the States and of course it's not so safe anymore, but I won't let fear affect my way of living. I am scared for my friends and family back home, because after Bali (Australian pub attacked) Madrid and London, there are kind of two more Bush allied left to be attacked: Italy and The Netherlands. There is so little we can do... Why is Bush not sending troops to Darfur for "Operation Sudan Freedom"??? Oh, right, no oil in Darfur...

Sad, so sad... Just reminds me to live my life to the fullest and try to bring love and joy to everyone I surround myself with... Love you all.

It's Monday...

I couldn't get up this morning...so I didn't. Finally dragged myself out of bed at 10am, and didn't get to work till noon. Monday's are so tough! I always leave work early on Friday (this Friday it was noon), so it feels like a 3 day weekend. I had a great weekend with Fishering, TLC, Kyle, Jenny, Rafael, Ben and his parents, Kasia and Steve and of course my baby Sierra. It was very low key, mellow, lot's of sun, fun in the pool, and a little too much to drink, especially Sunday night. That's why I could get up this morning.
Saturday afternoon, I went with Kyle, my room mate, to check out cars he's interested in leasing. We ended up with two favorites: Saab Aero 95, or the Infinite G35. It's nice checking out cars that are way out of my price range, but it still felt I was also buying a car. He will probably get the Saab Aero 95, which is a very, very beautiful, sporty car!
Monday's are so tough, but hey, everyone has to go through this Monday hell. Thank god it's Tuesday tomorrow. Oh, finally saw Million Dollar baby this weekend. I liked it, but Fishering  LOVED it. I would certainly recommend it if you haven't seen it.
Okay, I'm going back to my Holocaust survivors, and start reading the new DETAILS which came in on Saturday with a little gift from Armani (really, really little, but still nice to get an unexpected gift: their new fragrance).
Okay, maybe more later!

I forgot...

The most annoying thing:

People who slow down and break for a green light!

Have a great weekend, stay cool! It's 9:30am and already bloody hot! Gotta go, the pool is waiting for me...

People on the road

One more thing I need to get off my chest. PEOPLE IN LA SHOULD LEARN HOW TO DRIVE! A couple of things that would make me feel better and probably solve many traffic problems in LA:
1) when you're going to make a turn, use your turn signal! That's what it's there for!
2) if the speed limit is 35, drive 35 to 40, NOT 25!
3) if you need to drive slow (freeway or street) use the most far right lane. STAY OUT OF THE LEFT LINE! That is for us who like to speed, because we have a life to live!
4) if you're looking for a parking spot on, let's say Santa Monica Blvd, keep in mind there are other cars driving behind you

I bet there is much more, so let me hear your traffic frustrations! By the way, the food is awesome, it's almost 11:30am, so my weekend is about to begin!
Have a great weekend everyone!

Time to kill

I'm done with my quota for the week, but can't leave yet, because I have to speak to my manager, and he's in a meeting till 11:30am, so why not blog? And, my lovely Russian co-worker Yelena just came in and made me lots of food, to make up for my vasting yesterday.
Today is a much better day then yesterday! I drove to work with a smile on my face, listening to my Quilty Pleasures playllist (no, I can't reveal what songs are on that list), and just smiling at all the people going by in their cars going to work, going home, or just running errands. Happy times!
Now I gotta run some errands myself, and then I'm off to join the lovely Fishering by the pool!
By the way, have not heard from the upset scanner girl yet. I send her another e-mail this morning, that if she doesn't respond, I'll send her an ITunes certificate by e-mail. I'm doing this not for her, but for ME. I don't wanna hold on to her $10, so that's what I'll do. Whoa, my food is here:)

Can it get any worse?

Well, yes, I guess I can pass out when I have my blood test taken. Just minutes ago, the Cataloguing Manager asked me to stop by his office for a review of one of my English testimonies. I mailed him back that I have to leave soon for a doctor's appointment, but he said it would only take a few minutes. My regular supervisor who normally checks my work has been on vacation for over a month now. So here it is: my first Unsatisfactory testimony!
Can I go home and eat yet???

HOT

It's 102 at the Universal Studios back lot! And...I'm hungry. Have my annual check up, with the labtest for which you can't eat 12 hours before. I ate at 8pm last night, and hopefully I'll be home by 6:30pm tonight to stuff my face!

Bad day

Of course the news of the new attacks in London didn't make me feel good, but on a more personal level, I'm really upset today because of an e-mail I got this morning.
Two weeks ago I was cleaning my closet, and found many computer stuff, I had never thrown away. So instead of just throwing it in the trash (monitor, printer, speakers, scanner), I put in on Craigslist. I thought, why not make some money and make other people happy (I was asking $10 for most of it). I gave away a couch once on Craigslist, so I didn't have to arrange for a pick up, and hey, people like free stuff.
Three days ago I started talking on the phone with this girl who was interested in the scanner ($10). She canceled Tuesday night, so finally Wednesday night she would stop by to pick up the scanner. She came a little later in the evening to avoid traffic from Manhattan Beach where she lives. When she showed up she seemed very nice, young, probably in college. We chit chatted, and I gave her the scanner with all it's stuff, and told her to contact me if there was anything wrong with it. Hey, she has my e-mail, phone number and address, so she would be able to contact me.
So she did. She wrote me an e-mail late Wednesday night, which I received this morning:

"Thanks for selling me something that does not work. I wish I would have known that your scanner is total garbage or I would not have driven so far to buy it. I can't believe you sold me something that is such garbage. You knew all along that the scanner did not work because the lamp is broken. I am not worried though because what comes around goes around. You should be ashamed to try to sell something that you knew did not work!"

First, of all, I did not know that the lamp was broken and that the scanner didn't work. Okay, I could have checked all the stuff before selling it, but I had no reason to believe it was broken. But what upsets me, and hurts me is that someone thinks I would let some drive from Manhattan Beach to Beverly Hills to pick up a broken scanner for...$10! $10! What about sending an e-mail or calling me with : "hey, the scanner isn't working, the lamp is broken, can you sent me my $10 back?" No, I get this evil e-mail, accusing me of being this horrible person. Now, I'm someone who doesn't really care about what people think of me, but this e-mail bothers me, and I've been upset about it all morning. I've never had to be ashamed of something I did in my live. I'm try to be good to others, and can honestly say that I think I'm a nice person who threats people with respect and is always honest. I've never ripped of anyone in my life! So, yes, it upsets me that this person now thinks that I'm this dishonest person who ripped off this girl for $10. "What comes around, goes around"...MY ASS! I did not do something horrible, and don't deserve to be treated like this!

I send her an e-mail back, and thanked her for her nice e-mail, wrote I did not know it was broken, and asked for her mailing address to send her the $10 back. If she doesn't get back to me, I'll donate the $10 in her name to a good cause...
I'm not a bad person. It's not my fault...it's not my fault...

Okay, I'm not a stalker...

I realized this afternoon, that whenever some publishes a new post, I'm the first to place a comment. This does not mean that I'm stalking these bloggers, or that I'm a huge blog addict. Let me explain why I post so often and leave so many comments.
I listen to Holocaust testimonies, and index and catalogue the video testimonies of Holocaust survivors. I do this day in day out, every minute of my work day. I sit behind a desk with headphones on. To deal with this insane exposure to misery, I have to find things to do that will take my mind away from the Holocaust without losing my attention to the Holocaust survivor. So, reading a book, or writing a business plan or screenplay is out of the question. BUT, reading blogs, publishing posts or leaving comments are perfect, because I can keep my attention to what I'm listening to. So I surf the Internet all day, write e-mails, and read magazines to get through the day. There you have it. The reason I blog...

Money

Or actually...the lack of money. 30 Years old, still living paycheck to paycheck, no money on savings, no money for groceries till next Friday... Will things ever get better. I must say that I don't really care about money or material things (but don't take away my IPod!), and am very happy with what I have, and how I'm able to still support my living with my car payments, rent, food, socializing and dog, but having to calculate how much I have, and always ending up not having enough gets really tired!
Especially with my job ending in September, it would be really nice to find a way to make so more cash. I just got a call from my agent, and I've been put on "avail" for a commercial next week, which made me very happy!
Now, I'm also playing the lottery each week (even Shag is playing, and said that if you don't play, you know for sure you'll never win), so I keep on dreaming and doing anything I can to keep on living my dream here in LA. And yes, dreaming is really nice. Check out Jeff's dream...

Please, where does he find these things?

Another strange story courtesy of Fishering...
Hey, let's waste some more money on...pig sperm???

Too much time on his hands

Fishering's boss is out of time, so he brightens my day with weird links like this one...
Ebay Item of the Day

Amoeba Rocks!

Last night Rachael Yamagata  gave a free show at Amoeba record store on Sunset and Cahuenga. Groeg made me aware of this free show on Saturday, so I informated Timm  to check it out (he is the one who introduced me to Rachael's music). So me and Fishering arived early and stood in front of the stage, so when she performed we had the best view of her. She is so awesome! If you're not familiar with her yet, check her out!

Thursday

A quick note about my Thursday. Had a great time with the photo shoot form 11am to 6pm (okay, we had a 2 hour lunch break) and I can't wait to see the pictures. Then at night we had a great little gathering with Vanguard, Mercury, Human Nature by phone, Fishering and Groeg at O-bar. I have such great friends and had a great time with them and the Moijtos. Unfortunately, Friday morning wasn't that great, because of that drink:(...

You know those little unexpected things that can make your day? On Saturday, when I dropped by my place for two minutes, I had two packages waiting for me in front of my door. One was a copy of "Diary of an Affair" which I shot a couple of months ago, but the second one was "tha Bomb" (expressions borrowed from the two new friends  I made at El Coyote Friday night, Sandy and Linda). It was a Robbie Williams packed package which included several versions from his song "Radio" which I've been trying to get my hands on forever, and his greatest hits album (which pretty much are all the songs I have on my "Favorite RW" playlist). I can't thank you enough David for sending this to me! And the offer still stands for any Holocaust material I can make you happy with...:)

Recovery from the weekend

So, yeah, the weekend was so great, I was not able to go to work today. Can't even believe everything that happened. It started with Friday morning. I worked for about 3 hours and went over to Fishering place to hang out with his sister, his nephew and Audra, his friend in town from NY. I was still hang over from Thursday night, was at his place for 5 minutes, when things went crazy, because Ben, the two year old nephew, tripped and hit his head against the furniture. It was a big gasp in his forehead, and he was bleeding heavily. His mom picked him up, and wanted to go to the ER. I was the only one in the room, so I graped her keys, and we went off running to to street. Other friends starting to arrive, and Fishering was greeting them outside when we went flying by. I just yelled Cedar Sinai, and off we went.

Traffic on La Cienega sucked! So that drive seemed to take forever! Luckily the bleeding stopped and Ben was a hero, and very calm and talkative. Finally made it to the ER, and we didn't have to wait that long. Everyone was very nice and Ben was great! Until time came for the actual stitches. He had to be rolled into a blanket and tightened in a "straight jacket" so he would be able to move. He let that happen, but when the needles came out, and the doctor started, he started screaming. A nurse held his head, and all his mommy and I could do was talk to him. Mommy had a hard time looking at her child being worked on, so I tried to calm both of them down. What followed seemed to last for hours, but was probably 15 minutes or so. Ben was screaming, crying, sweating, and it was the hardest thing I ever had to experience in my life. I'm pretty good and calm in situation like that, so I had no problem watching the whole stitching thing, so i was able to hang over his head to make eye contact with poor Ben. When it was finally over, he was very happy, and just wanted to go back to Uncle Fishering. He waved by to ever nurse, and overall did very well. His mommy could stop shaking, poor thing. When it was all over i started to shake and was very tired and drained by the experience. I love Ben so much, and to see him in so much pain was such a horrible experience. Of course I'm now his favorite:). Well what can I say, an visit to the ER is a bonding experience.

I'll keep it short, but after that, I had to rush to an audition, and after that I took a three hour nap, before heading over to El Coyote for a great night of drinking, eating and spending time with a group of our best friends, celebrating that Audra was in town. That's basically what we did the rest of the weekend: drinking, eating, Point Zuma Beach, hanging by the pool, drinks at O-bar, and finally dinner at Maricks. To bad we had to say goodbye to Audra late Sunday night. I love Fishering, our friends, and my "family-in-law". Ben even calls me Uncle Jaron, which I think is the sweetest thing. Okay enough. I have to relax today.

Hope you all had a great weekend!

Really, HOW do people do it?

Okay, I know it has to do with what time you go to bed, so last night I was in bed by 11:30pm. Not bad after a long but fun day stretching my talent as a "model" for a photo shoot, drink with friends, and time with Fishering. But, my dog Sierra heard some noises around 2am, and couldn't relax. She kept on starring at the windows, which really creeped me out. Finally around 2:45am, I took Sierra outside to see what was there. Thankfully, no one was there (if some one would have been there, I have no idea what I would have done). After that she was able to sleep again, and so was I. What followed was a couple of hours of weird, scary, very realistic dreams. They are too intense to discuss, but it included death, mourning, my penis cut off, and lots of family and friends comforting me. Weird!
Have a great weekend!

How do people do it?

I have very flexible work hours at my job. I pretty much make my own hours. Normally I go in around 10am, and leave around 4pm (I know, not bad, but remember, I nonstop listen to Holocaust testimonies during those hours). Now sometimes I have to go in early, because I have other things planned like auditions, or just socializing. Today, I'm helping a friend of mine, and have to meet him at 11:30 am, so i got up at 6:30 am, got to work before 8am (turned on the lights!), and tomorrow the same thing. I've had plenty of jobs during my life that i had to get up early, as early as 3:30am, but man, it's hard to get up at 6:30am if you're not used to it! I know, many get up early, so I shouldn't complain, but it's hard! And to make things worse...I ran out of coffee yesterday, so I had to get in my car this morning without having had my first cup of coffee (believe, hardly ever happens)! Luckily there is a Starbucks on my way to work (well, I think everyone has a Starbucks on their way to work).
I have to admit though, every time I do get up this early, I kind of like it. There is no traffic, no smog yet, beautiful morning sun, and no one at work yet, so I can get a lot of minutes of Holocaust testimonies in before others come in and we start socializing.
Okay, gotta pay attention to my survivor: a very Dutch funny man in his eighties, who jumps all over the place (time and places), but he has a good sense of humor.
Have a great Thursday everyone!

Btw, this is the first time the spell check found no errors:)! Grammar wise I made many mistakes probably...

Okay, don't hate me...

The "ik heb je lief" post, is not an original work by moi... I'm sorry for dissapointing some of you out there who thaught I had writing talent, I'm sorry, I do not (I do have many other talents though...).
It's the text from a song by Dutch comedian/TV personality/talk show host/singer Paul de Leeuw.
Damn, why I'm so damn honest!

Spanish Cuisine

Last night Fishering surprised me with a romantic dinner at Cobra Lily. It's from the same owners as Cobras & Matadors, which is one of my favorite restaurants in town. Cobra lily is almost as good. Great atmosphere, very European feel to it, great food, great Sangria (God, I was so wasted after one pitcher of that stuff...). Go check it out, it's on Wilshire and... something... I believe in between San Vicente and La Cienega.
Thanks Fishering for a great evening:)

Live8

I was so busy last weekend, that I did not get a chance to see any of the Live8 performances. Thanks to Nick and David I was able to see Annie Lennox, but my love send me this link  and it has all the clips from all the performances! I did not get a chance to check them out yet, because I'm at work, but wanted to share this now.
Thanks Fishering!
:)

Ik heb je lief...

'k Weet niet of je zit te wachten, op een vriendelijk woord van mij
Als ik jou oproep in gedachten, maakt me dat veel beetjes blij
'k Voel het als ik jou zie zitten, als ik je alleen maar ruik
't Zit in honderdduizend vlinders, die zoet zweven in m'n buik

'k Heb je lief m'n hele leven is veel meer dan houden van
't Is alsof je in m'n bloed zit, ik zonder jou niet leven kan
Jouw mooie ogen doen me smelten, zet me zo in vuur en vlam
Ik voel het enkel bij jouw aanblik, ik krijg het ook van Rotterdam

'k Heb je lief, 'k heb je lief, 'k heb je lief, wat moet ik zonder jou
't Zijn vier hele kleine woordjes, en al maakt je dat een beetje bang
'k Heb je lief, vier jaargetijden lang

'k Voel het heel vaak als jij opstaat, of na een zomerse bui
Ik word al week bij de gedachte, jij die loopt in m'n lievelingstrui
't Is mijn hand die jij plots vastpakt, als ik domweg naast je fiets
't Komt ook, dat is nou het gekke, zelfs door helemaal niets

'k Heb je lief, 'k heb je lief, 'k heb je lief, wat moet ik zonder jou
't Zijn vier hele kleine woordjes, en al maakt je dat een beetje bang
'k Heb je lief, veertien bloemencorso's lang

Ik proef het tijdens ons zoenen, of als je plotseling lacht
Ik zie het in vallende sterren, na heftig vrijen in de nacht
't Is die tinteling, dat briesje, maakt jou helemaal voor mij
Ik denk als ik jou zo zie lopen, God er gaat een engeltje voorbij

'k Heb je lief, ik heb je lief, ik heb je lief, wat moet ik zonder jou
't Zijn vier hele kleine woordjes, en al maakt je dat een beetje bang
ik heb je lief, duizend en één nachten lang

Een van m'n mooiste dromen, is oud te worden met z'n twee
Dat die maar uit mag komen, ik heb je lief, ook na de A.O.W.

Ik heb je lief, wat moet ik  zonder jou
't Zijn vier hele kleine woordjes, en al maakt je dat een beetje bang
'k Heb je lief, honderdvier kerstbomen lang
Ik heb je lief

'k Heb je lief, m'n hele leven lang

Wanna laugh?

I think this is one of the funniest things ever, but when I showed it to some friends a couple of weeks ago, they all thought I was the biggest dork (which I am). Youdge for your self: What does a cow with mad cow disease sound like?

Okay, I'm off to sleep...

WHY

Thanks to David and Nick for helping me putting things in perspective in my life.

Watch this clip from Live8. Do what you can do. Now matter how little it is, it will make a chance. Every chance starts with yourself. Be safe, be good...

Poor Sierra...and poor me

When I got home from work today, I opened my bedroom door, and this enormous poop smell came by way. Sierra was lying on my bed looking guilty, but I only say a little bit on the floor. Then I noticed I was standing in two big piles of shit... My poor baby had diarrhea, and didn't want to poop inside so the furthest she good go, was right in front of the door. After a lot of cleaning (gotta love the new Swiffer with that bottle attached!), I'm finally able to enter my room without having to puke like that guy in "Team America".

Poor Sierra...

Batman was sold out...

...so I ended up seeing The War of the Worlds. Another excuse for why I saw this movie is that I wanted to support "my boss' Steven Spielberg. Anyway, it was entertaining to me. Some parts were really stupid and too long, but I enjoyed the special effects. Too bad I had to look at Tom's face for the whole time...

So, what is it all about?

Last week and weekend were weird. Many ups and downs, hi and lows (hmm, bi polar?), and now I trying to just take a distance from it, and just let it all be.
So, to lighten things up, a movie reccomendation! I think most people already seen it, but if not, see Team America! So fucking funny! I laughed so much! Really, go see it!

Appropiate

I noticed tonight that the world has been turning
While I've been stuck here dithering around
Well I know I said I'd wait around till you need me
But I have to go, I hate to let you down
But I can't stop now
I've got troubles of my own
Cause I'm short on time
And I'm too tired to talk

I noticed tonight that the world has been turning
While I've been stuck here withering away
Well i know I said I wouldn't leave you behind
But I have to go, it breaks my heart to say

That I can't stop now
I've got troubles of my own
Cause I'm short on time
I'm lonely
And I'm too tired to talk

No one back home
I've got troubles of my own
And I can't slow down
For no one in town
And I can't stop now

And I can't slow down
For no one in town
And I can't stop now
For no one

Emotion keeps my heart on me
Emotion keeps my heart on me
Emotion keeps my heart on me
Emotion keeps my heart on me

Beautiful song by Keane, "Can't Stop Now". If you're not familiar with Keane yet, check them out. Thanks Timm for introducing me to them!

What's there to say?

You can watch the images, read the articles, and just be happy to be alive. I'm shocked, sad, mad and feeling helpless. I was going to post my two favorite songs today, but it felt inappropiate. On the other hand, why let them change or lives, so here are my two favorite songs for today:
Breath me by Sia
Can't get you out of my head by Coldplay

Love to all

Let just everyone be!

I don't care about labels, and I don't label myself as gay, straight, bisexual or lying. It's not that I'm not comfortable with being "gay", I'm very comfortable in my "gay" relationship. I just don't see the need of seperating people by putting them in a certain category. I'm a sexual human being, and live my life they way I wanna live it. Why do we have to be put in some kind of social/cultural "group". I don't need that!
Of course, there will be "studies" claiming that "my behavior" is lying to myself and to others, and trying to make me "question" my lifestyle. BULLSHIT! I'm happy with who I am, who I sleep with, and how I decided to go through MY life!
Gay, Straight, or Lying

Hmmm...

Never thought I could identify with Billy Bob Thornton:

"I do everything right in my life in order to be able to drink Bud and have a smoke"
"Until the outlaw drinking, I'm not going to quit smoking"

But I did quit smoking...

Silence

The last two days I'm experiencing a severe need for silence and solitude. I don't want to talk to anyone at work, at home, over the phone...I just want to be alone. At first these deep and emotional feelings scared me due to my struggle with depression, but I try to separate this current state of mind with prior feelings I've had.
The last two or three weeks, I've been non stop around people. Don't get me wrong, I love Fishering, my friends, co-workers, and pretty much everyone I ran into. Hey, I didn't get the nickname "social butterfly" for nothing. I talk to everyone: leave me alone around people I've never met, and you don't have to worry I sit by myself in a corner; if you have dinner with me, and go to the restroom, don't be surprised I'm talking to the people at the table next to me; I talk to people in line in stores, and go on and on...
But sometimes I get this strong feeling of not wanting to talk, and just to be left alone. I'm trying to convince myself it's normal, especially with my hectic social live, emotional job, and acting career. It's so easy to slip into my old negative cognitive behavior, but I'm fighting it, and so far I'm winning. Please, everyone who's close to me, don't take it personal, because I love you all, and I love being around you. Sometimes, I guess I need some time for me... Sounds so normal, right, so why do I feel guilty?

Place to stay...

It's a little early, but I'm just gonna put it out there. My 1 year lease is done on August 1st, and my room mate has mentioned that in the near future he would like to move closer to his job in Santa Monica. It's not sure if he's moving out yet, and I don't know when it will be, but if he moves, one month will probably to short for me to find something.
That means me and my dog Sierra will need to move out of my current place and find a place where rent is cheap, they allow dogs, and in the Beverly Grove/Beverly Hills/West Hollywood area. I can't afford my own place, so I'm looking to share. So please, let me know if you know anyone who would take me and Sierra in... Oh, and also a reminder that my job ends in September, so if you hear of soemthing you think I could do, drop me a line...

4th of July resolutions

After a weekend (well, actually a month or so) of really abusing my body, it's time for a change! So, as of today, I have quit smoking, will drink less, eat healthy, and work out again. About a month ago, I already started to eat healthy and excersise, so it's not like I've been sitting on my ass last month. I will limit drinking to the alcohol, and NO smoking, no bumming of cigarettes, just cold turkey...

Favorite songs today...

A long time ago, I made a Morning Ride mix. I hadn't listen to it in a while, but this morning I was smiling and rocking to work listening to this mix. It makes me happy, and especially after a long weekend of sun, drinking, helping move, painting and more. Luckily we only have 4 days to work this week.
Favorite songs this morning:
1 Shut Up - Black Eyed Peas
2 Supreme- Robbie Williams
3 The Road to Mandalay- Robbie Williams
4 Duran Duran - (Reach Up for the) Sunrise

By the way, anyone knows how I can get a hold of "Radio" by Robbie Williams? Not able to find it on ITunes.

Happy 4th of July!

Even though this holiday has no meaning to me (sorry, no offense, but I'm not american), I do love the day of and celebrating it with lots of food, drinks and good company!

Fishering is all moved into his new place, so we've been chillin, and will continue doing that today by his pool with some neighbors and friends.

In the Netherlands we only have fireworks for New Year, and I still run out every year here to watch the fireworks at midnight (mostly because I'm so wasted and then keep on forgetting that there's no fireworks in the USA at New Year's), so will be nice to watch some of it tonight...maybe...if I miss it, oh well, I'll run out again on New Year's and see the fireworks in my head...

Have a good Holiday everyone!

It's here...

A sunny three day weekend! Well, almost four days, because I only worked an hour and a half yesterday. I'm going to sit my ass down by the pool, drink and smoke (last weekend smoking!)...

So, yesterday I was very busy helping Fishering movie and paint, just in case anyone got worried about me not writing a blog. I know I have some frequent readers out there, somewhere...maybe...?

Have a awesome 4th of July weekend!